i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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