Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
