I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.