we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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