You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
