Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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