This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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