I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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