it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
