i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
