is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
