is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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