I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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