I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
