My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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