I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
