I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
