you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
