angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just want to make out with him forever
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
