he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
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Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
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Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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