ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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