i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
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We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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