so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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