don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
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I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
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He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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