I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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