Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The air taste purple.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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