Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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