I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
