So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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