1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
