Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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