I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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