I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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