pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
