I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
