Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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