I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
