I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
