I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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