Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
