I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
