the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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