One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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