I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
