I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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