I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It's official drugs can't kill me
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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