I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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