i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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