I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize