Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
