Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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