The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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