i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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