She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
