Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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