Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
