It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
