eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
