You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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