my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
