im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
