I smell stomach acid.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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